Hey there,
So today I got kicked out of my friends house because some events took place, leading us to make out, and him regretting his decision. He decided he wanted to stay with his girlfriend. And so, I got kicked out (well left on a good note for the most part, after letting him calm down.), and had to make some more new realizations.
Sometimes, we have to learn what it means to say goodbye to certain aspects of a friendship. And that’s what I have failed to do thus far, not wanting to risk missing out on something. Now, instead, I may miss out on a lot, due to my participation. And other times, we have to realize there are worst things in the world. I myself, am at a crossroads with this.
However, for all the females out there, remember, that you don’t need a man to define who you are. You can stand on your own two feet. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to get knocked down again. Now it’s just a matter of time before I can get back up again, but I eventually will.
Hey guys,
So to be perfectly honest, there were some things I needed to smooth over with myself before I could finally admit that for months on end something was wrong. But now that I’ve faced it, it doesn’t seem so bad anymore. So to any future walkers in my life, to any takers who want to go through struggles with me, here you go:
To whom it may concern:
I am by no means perfect, but have come to accept that it’s okay. Everything at some point ends up being okay. The other day my dad told me that something happened up at my old college that I hadn’t told him or my mom about, but the thing is, when it came down to it, I told them everything that happened. That was the beginning of my journey, but also now a shut chapter. I suffer from anxiety, borderline personality disorder (emotional disorder), and depression. Sometimes, it can be horrible during it’s worst days, but there’s also the up days. And if I focus hard enough on those, it makes it easy to get by without regretting any decisions I’ve chosen to make on this next part of my journey. I like to look at my life right now as four chapters, maybe five. I was born, had a childhood, suffered an illness in middle school, went through high school and graduated, went to my first college only to decide to transfer, and then last year in which my grandmother died. So I guess that makes six, and would put me in my seventh chapter of life, which I’m okay with, because it means I realized things happened, and I can’t dwell on them. But to you future comers, don’t be afraid of me, but don’t hate me either. I am the way I am, and I’ve done everything I need to in order for ME to be happy with MYSELF. All this work isn’t for anyone else, but when I’m lucky, and find the person I want to share my life with, that’s when the changes can start being about someone else. Not dramatic changes, but things that clearly need to be worked on. I’ve learned from the past to never drastically change who you are for anyone, because in the end it can leave you waiting for an ending that was never promised.
To whom it may concern, I’m ready to move forward further, deeper, and explore this new chapter. And whenever you are ready to show yourself, I’ll be there.
(via teenagerposts)
(Source: monicatrann, via ckretlyluvinux3)
